Daemondred
04-16-2006, 04:42 PM
First off, let me say that I am truely sorry for any drama caused in the past. It was never my intention, and largely I was unaware of how my actions were causing problems. My life has changed dramatically since August, and I'm sorry that I was disruptive during some of these difficult transition periods in my life. It was not on purpose, and was the opposite of what I really wanted.
I ask that no matter how you feel about me, that you read this entire thread. I'm not here to shift blame, but I am here to say thank you to those that helped me along the way, and give constructive criticism as to how I think issues like those you encountered with me can be avoided in the future.
Now that the decision has been made, I can't say that I am surprised. I'm actually relieved. Over the past week seeing what people have said and how they truely feel, I wouldn't want back in BP anyway. I don't want to cause drama, and I don't want to annoy people. These have never been goals of mine. I've said from the beginning that I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted, and clearly, I'm not wanted by the officers of this guild. That's really fine, I just wish they had told me this months ago and saved everyone the trouble of me trying to fit in somewhere I didn't belong.
To me this is just a video game, to many of you, this is so much more, a lifestyle even. I've been there, done that with EQ1, and told myself I'd never go back. So I'm sorry, I just couldn't fit into this atmosphere. The day in day out grind of raids was never really fun, quite the opposite. I have a very busy school life and when I first joined BP everything was casual and it was a very family oriented thing for me. But now its a 24/7 grind, and I was doing my best to keep up with it. I always tried my best and gave everything we did 110%. Learning BWL with all of you was a lot of fun. I just wanted to contribute any way I could. I'm sorry if you felt I was trying to "take over raids." This was certainly never expressed to me previously. I thought I was helping. I'd see something going terribly wrong, and I'd do my best to correct it. I'm a leader, I can't help it. I might not have been an officer, but I led people all the time. I'm sorry, but if you wanted a quiet worker bee that follows orders without question, you should have told me that when I signed up. I'm used to leading, I've done it in every guild I've been in previously for 8 years since EQ1. So it's time for me to move on and find a place where I can be myself.
That aside, I leave you with the following advice: If you have a probelm with someone, talk to them. Don't ignore them and think, "gee maybe this will get better by itself." I guarantee you it won't. No one for 3 months has ever said anything to me. I had absolutely no idea how the officers felt, you know why? THEY NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME. You guys are so drama adverse that you just end up causing more drama. Deal with shit as it happens, on the spot, and never let it fester. Nip it in the butt immediately.
So to all my friends in this guild, I wish you the best and hope you find happiness here. I've met so many wonderful people in this guild that I will remain friends with forever. I don't need a BP guild tag to be your friend or to hang out with you, don't forget the friends list is there for a reason. So lots of love to all my friends in BP (in no particular order):
Big shout out to all my BIG DOGS brothers: Gort, Imagen(wherever you are), Bastien, Erisander, and Sinnyil. I love ya guys and will miss you. You are all at the top of your game, and you certainly pushed me to my limits, and I hope I pushed you too excel as well. Never stop trying, never stop pushing, in game but also in life. You have my ultimate respect.
Magor, you were never afraid to defend me when you actually agreed with me, and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. You're also a very intelligent and skilled raider and it was a pleasure to work with you.
Leyna, I'll miss your cheery attitude and all the fun I had with you and Gort. You never yelled at me, never told me I was too hard to heal, never complained about rezzing me to save my sharpening stones. Your kind words and attitude kept me positive during some of the worst times.
Lilliana, your words of encouragement kept me going sometimes. You were never too busy to listen, and you always made an effort to make people laugh. You made me <3 Bananas even! ;p Thank you Lilli, for caring.
Aleiandra, you always gave me a fair chance and did your best to keep me out of trouble. Sorry man, I tried too but it doesn't always work out, hehe. Thanks for always listening to my side of things and I hope your fury warrior turns out well for you. =)
Moorayle, glad you finally got your big beat stick Moo! You were the first warrior to actually notice me. I'll never forget that. You talked to me all the time to see how I was doing, what I was doing to get better, what gear I needed. You were like a mentor to me in the early days even though our builds are totally different. You'd listen and discuss with me, and it led to some great things for me. Keep on rockin' that Popemobile Moo.
Maerlyn, you were the one officer that went out of his way to listen to me and try to understand. When no one else gave a shit, you did. I'll never forget that. Thank you for serving so selflessly, you are an outstanding leader, and a great guy.
Hooter, we go way back bro. We've always been real with eachother, and I appreciate your sense of humor and the real world perspective you bring to this crazy video game. Thanks for all the good times Hoot, and don't let the crappy Warladins get you down, keep on truckin' with Unomas. =)
Alypius, no, I couldn't finish this without including you noobsauce. I'm sorry I dragged you back into all this as things were falling apart, haha. ;p Whatever, we go so far back, I don't even have to tell you this but here it goes: Thank you for always supporting me, through everything, no matter what was going on or who was telling you what. You never questioned, never faultered, and proved that someone's best friend can be on the internet. In 8 years that we've known eachother you have been the truest friend to me that I've known in my entire life. Thank you. Oh, and you're also a free thinker, and you do things with the mage class I've never seen any other cookie cutter mage do. Keep it up, you know you have my support. =)
Irongut, I know we haven't really talked one on one much, or ever done anything in game, but your presence on the boards was such a relief to me. You are an amazing writer, I hope you keep it up, you really have talent. Your posts always brought a smile to my face. You were what kept me thinking this was still a family guild for so long.
Leoj, you're one funny guy Joel, keep your head up and stay in school. =) And keep rocking it old school, your music on vent really lowered my stress some days, and I appreciated it when you talked to me on AIM because you knew I was feeling down.
Elem, you gave me a fair chance, and I appreciate it. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much drama on my account, but just know I was just trying my best. You're a great leader bro, but if i can give you one word of advice: Trust your instincts, and go with what you know is right. Don't spend so much time looking for 100% concensus from everyone else, it will never happen. Stick to your plan, your vision, and lead people. They will follow you.
Haiden, Bastien, Gort, Valmar, Riacan, and Arthoes, you guys were like brothers to me. Sure, brothers I fight with sometimes, but brothers none the less. You all made me feel welcome as a rogue, and encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing when everyone else questioned it. Thank you for your support.
Anyone else, I didn't know you all super close, but I did have fun times with you all. I hope that at least once in my stay I made you smile, or helped you with an instance, or gave you a potion. I did my best to be friends with everyone, and I'm sorry if things didn't work out. Good luck with everything.
Lasly, but most certainly not least, Citah:
You are the most amazing person to ever walk into my life. When I was down, not just about the game, but about my entire life, you were the only person to notice and the only person to care. I didn't even know you, but somehow you knew me. You knew the pain I felt and the troubles I had. And you didn't just walk the other way either, you stepped up to the plate and gave me a hug when I was so angry and spiteful that no one else would dare go near me. You saved my life. I will always love you, and I don't care what anyone in any video game tells me, you are an amazing person who deserves the best. You were the hardest working healer I have ever known, and you never complained to me about how hard it was to do your job. You gave it your all, and you would even try to apologize when things went wrong that were completely out of your control. Don't ever let anyone question your healing ability Citah, quite simply, you are the best I ever had the pleasure of working with, and you always give it your all. You never sold out, you never used mods, and you were firm on that, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be grouped with anyone else. I will miss raiding with you Citah, but I am glad that we are so much more than fellow raiders now, and that is much more important to me than anything else. <3 <3 <3
In closing, This is an amazing group of people. Please treat eachother well, and don't be strangers.
-Michael Anderson, player of Daemondred
I ask that no matter how you feel about me, that you read this entire thread. I'm not here to shift blame, but I am here to say thank you to those that helped me along the way, and give constructive criticism as to how I think issues like those you encountered with me can be avoided in the future.
Now that the decision has been made, I can't say that I am surprised. I'm actually relieved. Over the past week seeing what people have said and how they truely feel, I wouldn't want back in BP anyway. I don't want to cause drama, and I don't want to annoy people. These have never been goals of mine. I've said from the beginning that I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted, and clearly, I'm not wanted by the officers of this guild. That's really fine, I just wish they had told me this months ago and saved everyone the trouble of me trying to fit in somewhere I didn't belong.
To me this is just a video game, to many of you, this is so much more, a lifestyle even. I've been there, done that with EQ1, and told myself I'd never go back. So I'm sorry, I just couldn't fit into this atmosphere. The day in day out grind of raids was never really fun, quite the opposite. I have a very busy school life and when I first joined BP everything was casual and it was a very family oriented thing for me. But now its a 24/7 grind, and I was doing my best to keep up with it. I always tried my best and gave everything we did 110%. Learning BWL with all of you was a lot of fun. I just wanted to contribute any way I could. I'm sorry if you felt I was trying to "take over raids." This was certainly never expressed to me previously. I thought I was helping. I'd see something going terribly wrong, and I'd do my best to correct it. I'm a leader, I can't help it. I might not have been an officer, but I led people all the time. I'm sorry, but if you wanted a quiet worker bee that follows orders without question, you should have told me that when I signed up. I'm used to leading, I've done it in every guild I've been in previously for 8 years since EQ1. So it's time for me to move on and find a place where I can be myself.
That aside, I leave you with the following advice: If you have a probelm with someone, talk to them. Don't ignore them and think, "gee maybe this will get better by itself." I guarantee you it won't. No one for 3 months has ever said anything to me. I had absolutely no idea how the officers felt, you know why? THEY NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME. You guys are so drama adverse that you just end up causing more drama. Deal with shit as it happens, on the spot, and never let it fester. Nip it in the butt immediately.
So to all my friends in this guild, I wish you the best and hope you find happiness here. I've met so many wonderful people in this guild that I will remain friends with forever. I don't need a BP guild tag to be your friend or to hang out with you, don't forget the friends list is there for a reason. So lots of love to all my friends in BP (in no particular order):
Big shout out to all my BIG DOGS brothers: Gort, Imagen(wherever you are), Bastien, Erisander, and Sinnyil. I love ya guys and will miss you. You are all at the top of your game, and you certainly pushed me to my limits, and I hope I pushed you too excel as well. Never stop trying, never stop pushing, in game but also in life. You have my ultimate respect.
Magor, you were never afraid to defend me when you actually agreed with me, and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. You're also a very intelligent and skilled raider and it was a pleasure to work with you.
Leyna, I'll miss your cheery attitude and all the fun I had with you and Gort. You never yelled at me, never told me I was too hard to heal, never complained about rezzing me to save my sharpening stones. Your kind words and attitude kept me positive during some of the worst times.
Lilliana, your words of encouragement kept me going sometimes. You were never too busy to listen, and you always made an effort to make people laugh. You made me <3 Bananas even! ;p Thank you Lilli, for caring.
Aleiandra, you always gave me a fair chance and did your best to keep me out of trouble. Sorry man, I tried too but it doesn't always work out, hehe. Thanks for always listening to my side of things and I hope your fury warrior turns out well for you. =)
Moorayle, glad you finally got your big beat stick Moo! You were the first warrior to actually notice me. I'll never forget that. You talked to me all the time to see how I was doing, what I was doing to get better, what gear I needed. You were like a mentor to me in the early days even though our builds are totally different. You'd listen and discuss with me, and it led to some great things for me. Keep on rockin' that Popemobile Moo.
Maerlyn, you were the one officer that went out of his way to listen to me and try to understand. When no one else gave a shit, you did. I'll never forget that. Thank you for serving so selflessly, you are an outstanding leader, and a great guy.
Hooter, we go way back bro. We've always been real with eachother, and I appreciate your sense of humor and the real world perspective you bring to this crazy video game. Thanks for all the good times Hoot, and don't let the crappy Warladins get you down, keep on truckin' with Unomas. =)
Alypius, no, I couldn't finish this without including you noobsauce. I'm sorry I dragged you back into all this as things were falling apart, haha. ;p Whatever, we go so far back, I don't even have to tell you this but here it goes: Thank you for always supporting me, through everything, no matter what was going on or who was telling you what. You never questioned, never faultered, and proved that someone's best friend can be on the internet. In 8 years that we've known eachother you have been the truest friend to me that I've known in my entire life. Thank you. Oh, and you're also a free thinker, and you do things with the mage class I've never seen any other cookie cutter mage do. Keep it up, you know you have my support. =)
Irongut, I know we haven't really talked one on one much, or ever done anything in game, but your presence on the boards was such a relief to me. You are an amazing writer, I hope you keep it up, you really have talent. Your posts always brought a smile to my face. You were what kept me thinking this was still a family guild for so long.
Leoj, you're one funny guy Joel, keep your head up and stay in school. =) And keep rocking it old school, your music on vent really lowered my stress some days, and I appreciated it when you talked to me on AIM because you knew I was feeling down.
Elem, you gave me a fair chance, and I appreciate it. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much drama on my account, but just know I was just trying my best. You're a great leader bro, but if i can give you one word of advice: Trust your instincts, and go with what you know is right. Don't spend so much time looking for 100% concensus from everyone else, it will never happen. Stick to your plan, your vision, and lead people. They will follow you.
Haiden, Bastien, Gort, Valmar, Riacan, and Arthoes, you guys were like brothers to me. Sure, brothers I fight with sometimes, but brothers none the less. You all made me feel welcome as a rogue, and encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing when everyone else questioned it. Thank you for your support.
Anyone else, I didn't know you all super close, but I did have fun times with you all. I hope that at least once in my stay I made you smile, or helped you with an instance, or gave you a potion. I did my best to be friends with everyone, and I'm sorry if things didn't work out. Good luck with everything.
Lasly, but most certainly not least, Citah:
You are the most amazing person to ever walk into my life. When I was down, not just about the game, but about my entire life, you were the only person to notice and the only person to care. I didn't even know you, but somehow you knew me. You knew the pain I felt and the troubles I had. And you didn't just walk the other way either, you stepped up to the plate and gave me a hug when I was so angry and spiteful that no one else would dare go near me. You saved my life. I will always love you, and I don't care what anyone in any video game tells me, you are an amazing person who deserves the best. You were the hardest working healer I have ever known, and you never complained to me about how hard it was to do your job. You gave it your all, and you would even try to apologize when things went wrong that were completely out of your control. Don't ever let anyone question your healing ability Citah, quite simply, you are the best I ever had the pleasure of working with, and you always give it your all. You never sold out, you never used mods, and you were firm on that, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be grouped with anyone else. I will miss raiding with you Citah, but I am glad that we are so much more than fellow raiders now, and that is much more important to me than anything else. <3 <3 <3
In closing, This is an amazing group of people. Please treat eachother well, and don't be strangers.
-Michael Anderson, player of Daemondred